my father

Some days are in life that never forgot.
Every year when those dates are coming and come to reach to exactly that dates your heart beat goes upper and upper .some days remember many beautiful or nice memory about the special events and others just remember very painful and nightmare events that repeat an repeat every day in your mind. For me there are many unforgettable events in my heart calendar, some of them are the memoir of so sweet and nice events and others very very painful. Today is the anniversary of one of the most painful events in my life. Maybe the worst .up to now I don’t believe I could see and passed that black day. Every day I think about that day in the days after that catastrophe in my life. Since I think maybe is a long nightmare and one day I realise all these days are just awful nightmares. Until now me every day I think life is same as before and all things are same as usual up to now I don’t believe that I have not seen my father for 5 years. It is unbelievable maybe is a long nightmare, maybe. Until now I could not accept I saw and bear that dark day back to 5 years ago. Every time before this disaster I thought if this tragedy happens for one of my family I for sure kill my self because I can not bear without them. But see, 5 years passed and I did not kill myself life is continue I’m here and no killing and … but just think maybe these days without him are not real and I can see him again. I really miss him, really ,maybe no body can not understand what I say, but I miss you .you don’t come in my dreams during these 5 years I haven’t remember one night you come in my dream and just talk to me ,ooh I remember ..Just once or twice at this time I can not exactly say how many times but maybe one or two times, yes just one or two. Please come, maybe in my dream we can talk together and seat and share some deep feeling. I really want you hug me and hug me strongly and can feel some body are that can support me very strong .I really need talk to you. share many heavy feeling with you , specially when I’m here .believe me that I really need you pray for me and support me .I know that I have not a good child for you but I m sure you are the best father in the world .